I feel it’s my duty to keep quiet
That so many people have it worse off than I do
When really I’m the one that’s
Banging from the inside of my sound -proof soul
Crying out for something to release me from the pain of being me

I can’t seem to calm this stress
Tame it into something bigger and better
I can’t seem to make anyone happy, not even myself
And it hurts, that I’m coming to the point, where I’m sick.
I’m the one always apologizing for something else I’ve done
My personality won’t let me forget who I am.
And moving on is impossible in itself

I can’t keep on sinking
To drown in this would be giving up
But so close to the bottom I am
It wouldn’t matter anymore
If you didn’t even notice me

No explanations are needed for me
No one wants to understand me
And I feel like I have to hold it in
Just to keep from crying out

I want to be me without any regrets
To learn to love myself and be happy
I don’t want to be tied down to the abusiveness
That has plagued me all my life

I just want to let it all out
Scream out your name
Scream out my fear
And hold on to nothing but your truth

I just want to forget who I am
Put myself quietly away in the past
and not care any longer of who  I am.

I’m sick of bowing down to others
Being the typical cast-happy person
I’m tired of all these regrets, stuff not done, things not said.
I’m tired of being the type to try to care.
When all I really do…is wish that someone cared for me.

I don’t want to be your disease
But I don’t want to take your crap
I don’t want to hold on to something old
That’s decaying in this thing called life.

I don’t know where I am…
And…..I’m going to scream
Till I’m on the floor bawling
Till I’m on the floor praying
That this decaying sound proof barrier
Will let me scream the words you need to hear

Let me out….
Screaming and banging on the floor…
Against this pain….
This angst…..
I want out….of your decaying soul.